A wrench in plans
by bhut
Summary: Set in the end of Avengers: War of the Vampires comic arc. Where was Chernobog while this was all going on? Dracula is about to learn. Canon divergence. Spoilers for the comic arc in question.


**A wrench in plans**

_Disclaimer: all characters belong to Marvel™._

_Note: this story takes place in 'Avengers: War of Vampires' issue 17._

The land of Chernobyl in winter was cold, barren, unforgiven, and quite dark, as this part of Eastern Europe in winter tends to be. Vlad the Impaler, also known as Count Dracula, already loved it; soon, his chief minions would arrive and then his plans to remake the kingdom of vampires anew would really take off the ground!

"Aw, look at you! So happy for yourself, so proud! Verily, you're the very Sun-Tzu of vampires," someone spoke from behind Dracula, possibly unaware that the latter really hated Sun-Tzu for personal reasons.

"Who dares-?" the challenge died in the ancient vampire's mouth and throat, as the rubbery black monstrosity, not quite human, not quite bestial, _way _too comfortable on all four legs, beamed down at Dracula; its' eyes almost completely closed – mere slits in the muzzle of face, but the teeth were doing the beaming here.

"Chernobog-!"

"Who, now?" the monstrosity's voice still sounded happy and carefree, but its' stance shifted ever so slightly-

"Forgive me for mispronouncing your name, lord Zernebock," Dracula had remained the lord of the vampires in part by thinking quickly on his feet. "To what do I have the honor of your visit?"

"Impaler," Chernobog/Zernebock, the supposedly Slavic god of darkness replied with a Cheshire smile, (few beings dared to smile this way at count Dracula; unfortunately, the dark entity in front of the vampire was one of them). "You really thought that you could get away with _all of this_ after all that we have been together through? You Impaler, Hammer of Infidels, Savior of Wallachia, and Transylvania, and all of their environs-"

"Stop," Dracula snapped. "That was a long time ago, I'm no longer that man-"

"Oh yes you are, and yes it was, and so in honor of their memory you've decided to start anew, make your own kingdom after wheedling and fooling all of the greater powers, your superiors-"

"What superiors?" Dracula _was_ thrown off his balance after all; otherwise, he would never ask such an open question.

"_Me_, for starters," the dark god beamed back some more, again only with its' teeth. "_I_ too am a part of the Winter Guard, after all… and also," it thrust one of its hands into Dracula's face, and a mouth sprouted in the palm, "I am the Darkness Behind You, am I not?" The mouth vanished, the hand withdrew.

"Yes you are, milord Zernebock," Dracula made a leg now, as the time for posturing was clearly ending now, and quickly. "And what have I did to earn your displeasure?"

"I'm getting to this," Chernobog spoke with a dismissiveness that did not fool the vampire lord, not after all those centuries. "As you know, between the time when I was recovering from my near death by Gorr the God-Butcher and now, I have had interactions with them mortals, as gods and other beings, such as myself, are known to do. In time my offspring went around the globe, and some of them found themselves in Madripoor, making a living there – in a manner of speaking. So lively they were, made me feel proud, rather like a father – something that I had not been, not properly, for a long, long while. And then – enter some proud young idiot, with a metaphorical fire in his heart, and not so metaphorical empty void in his skull, who kills almost all of them, eh?" Chernobog beamed with its teeth down at Dracula once more.

"That wasn't my doing," Dracula was beginning to realize with a sinking heart that he just might be personally in trouble after all.

"Of course not," Chernobog clapped its hands. "De-jure you're clean, your hands are clean, and everyone is ready and eager to follow your master plan to make your master kingdom, as they did throughout the ages. You haven't lost your edge at all, you old bat, nor did you lost your self, your personality, eh?" it shifted and looked down at Dracula.

"What do you want?" Dracula did not back down, (though he wanted to – it never paid to aggravate predators with bigger teeth than yours, after all).

"Some of my descendants are still alive and will continue to do so, in a manner of speaking, which brings us to you and to your new kingdom, Impaler!" Chernobog snapped back. "You may fly rings around the fool faction of the Winter Guard, but Russia itself is another story – Russia has lived for millennia now, and the number of people it grew; you think you can defeat them yet, undead thing, but, alas, it's just screw you! The zeitgeist, see?"

"What zeitgeist?" Dracula snapped, even as Chernobog reached out with its hands and grabbed him and spun him around.

…There are few things that could make Dracula startle; a giant serpent-dragon spirit big enough to touch the sky while remaining coiled on the ground was one of them. "Oh, _that_ zeitgeist," he said brightly.

"Yes," and now Chernobog was not smiling any longer. "Hydra was a parasite and now that it's gone, no one's really misses it anymore, though like any good parasite it may always return. S.H.I.E.L.D. … S.H.I.E.L.D. was S.H.I.E.L.D., it too is gone, but might return, especially now that the king of Wakanda is trying to do something similar; but Leviathan… it was the spiritual protector of the Slavs before me and my late, dead wife have arrived on this planet, and right now, it's not amused by your leaps and bounds, and it took my marker regarding you, so now? You want your people to have your new kingdom? Swear homage to it, you tricky Romanian, you!"

"So I get to keep my kingdom, the kingdom of my people-"

"And in return you will help out the Winter Guard since you're _so_ smarter than most of _us_," Chernobog rolled its eyes, metaphorically speaking.

"Us?"

"Yes, I'm one of them too, so sorry that you didn't notice, my condolences," Chernobog snorted disdainfully. "I guess you lofty genius failed to wonder as to why I wasn't around while your people were having their way with the Dynamo and the other mortals."

"The Red Widow-"

Chernobog extended its' neck and whispered something into Dracula's ear; the vampire lord's eyes went wide.

"Oh," was all he said in a small voice, (atypical for him). "That's why… I see… But _who_-?"

Instead of a verbal reply, Chernobog just pointed with one of its claws at the still solemn and silent Leviathan.

"Oh," Dracula said again. "I see…"

"Yes, glad that you do," Chernobog spoke with all the fake friendliness of a shark. "You are still yourself, Vlad the Impaler, that merciless, ruthless, brilliant warlord that managed to keep the Ottoman Empire at bay and be considered a great man and a savior while doing unspeakable crimes. However, these days? It is not enough, especially not against the Avengers. Evolve or die – and the Leviathan recognizes your homage and obeisance! Enjoy your kingdom, Vampire Lord!" And with those parting words, both it and the serpent-dragon were gone.

…Having left to his own devices, Dracula straightened and adjusted his clothing. "Evolve or die, Darkness Behind Me, milord Zernebock? Thank you for your advice, old friend. I _so_ will. But for now, I need to greet my lieutenants, and," a mocking smile distorted his fanged face even further, "the Shadow Colonel. Wish me luck!"

And he turned around to do just that.

End


End file.
